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22 August 2007 @ 09:55 pm
They Don't Love You 4  
Title: They Don't Love You Like I Love You [4/?]
Author: ohvick
Pairing: Mikey/Alicia, Mikey/Gerard, Gerard/SURPRISE:D
Rating: PG-13
POV: Mrs. Way (Alicia)
Summary: If I had done what I should’ve done, I wouldn’t have found out how very wrong I’d been and how much worse the situation really was.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these people, nor do i believe or wish that the Ways are anything more than superbrothers. Now that that's settled, let's pray that we don't go to hell for this. DX
Author Notes: I got this idea from when i was making a bowl of ice cream (with chocolate sauce and sprinkles) and my sister called me fat. -_- thanks skinny bitch. p.s. this is soooo not fluff.
Dedications: jujubescavities for putting aside all her morals and reading this. ILY! and for all those who read this story, because without you, I'd be writing for nothing, obviously.

This Picture.

I stumbled onto the bed, not bothering to change into my pajamas. I missed the digital clock on the way too. It’s not like time mattered anymore. I wanted to crawl up into a hole in the earth and begin decaying, but the comforter worked just fine in the way that it swallowed me up and I felt like I could hide there from reality. Of course there was no hope for wishing it was “all just a dream.” Hell no. The boogie man couldn’t come up with shit like that.

I shuddered as I tried to repress the fresh memories that stuck to center stage. The tears had long gone, dried up the instant I became numb. Hearing Mikey moan his nickname, the one he'd given him when they were children and Mikey couldn’t pronounce ‘Gerard‘. That just stripped me away from feeling anything.

I came to a point where I had to question all I'd ever known. Because he was it, Mikey was my life. Now that I didn't even know who this Mikey is, the foundation was gone, and the building collapsed Back to ground zero. It was like a roomful of people telling me how to feel, each with a different view, and me not knowing what those feelings were supposed to actually feel like.

The hours passed. They weren’t drawn out painfully, or sped up, just simply passed. I probably slept, or was half asleep. You’d think I’d know what was going on in my head, what thoughts were racing, but I really don’t remember.

Eventually, Mikey returned with fresh Starbucks iced coffee for me. He ducked down to where I was sitting up on the side of the bed. He tucked my hair behind my ear, held my face in his hands and kissed my forehead, something he did only occasionally.

I was surprised at how calm I was, like nothing out of the ordinary had happened earlier. I even kissed him back when he crouched to capture my lips. A little part of my mind expected him to taste differently. Expected there were still lingering traces of him, like fingerprints at a crime scene. He tasted like he did yesterday, and the day before that.

I hugged his middle tightly, inhaling. Was I expecting him to smell differently? That maybe the smell of sex had stained his skin? Something’s got to be wrong with me, that I would go searching for heartbreak like that. There had to be some proof that I was not imagining what I’d heard in the hallway earlier.

People murder everyday, and some are never convicted. Just because they are found innocent, it doesn’t mean they are. Just that there wasn’t enough proof to pin them down.

So if there was no smell, taste, suspicious behavior at all from Mikey, then he was innocent. He walked out of the hotel room, the usual small smile on his face. He’d gotten away with murder.

The gang met up for breakfast at the IHOP where, once again, Mikey ordered enough food to feed a horse. He made excuses that he didn’t like the bacon, sausages, or waffles on the side very much, so he shoved them toward Gerard, who happily accepted, probably with that toothy, knowing grin of his. I didn’t bother to look.

But it turns out, if you can’t see someone, it doesn’t mean they aren’t there. I tried to tune them all out, but that quirky high pitched squeal of Gerard's kept breaking the barrier. I used to love it so much, but that morning, it kept on distracting me from my little hermit shell of thoughts. It seemed amplified and every time someone would say something even remotely funny, he’d laugh like it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard, which thrilled Frank.

I forced a smile or nod whenever needed, took a big bite of my pancakes when someone expected me to speak, and slipped through breakfast without a word.

so, yeah, it might be a while till i update again. might
so please take the time to critique my writing. try not to be too harsh?
thank you so much for reading.
oh yeah, and i fixed up my journal. like?

edited by crossbow1
Current Music: helena - misfits
eikoguyeikoguy on August 23rd, 2007 03:55 am (UTC)
I'm assuming you mean critique your writing?

Ground Zero is the point where a bomb touched down. WOuld be better if you make other examples in that hought train about how a bomb has been set off. It's hard to explain. Yuo say she felt clam about everything but it would be good if you said how his kiss on her forehead felt the moment it happened.

She comes to the point where she has to question everything welll where was she before? Numb? Well it would be nice ot know all the emotions she went through. quiet denile, righteous fury, acceptance [yah right]

"Was I expecting him to smell differently? That maybe the smell of sex had stained his skin?" These sentences don't flow. It wouldbe better if you said. Was I expecting him to smell differently? Did I believe that the smell of sex had saturated into his skin. [cuz smells dont stain.]

I would like it if you pointed out how she was fighting her self. HOw she is trying to find evidence that he's guilty but at the same time trying to make him be innocent in her mind.

'So yah things like that
frankfurter: mike's too coolohvick on August 23rd, 2007 04:13 am (UTC)
first of all.

second, i know about ground zero, but it can apply to more than just the Twin Towers. in this case, it was still metaphorically about buildings.

third. thank you so much. this helps a whole lot ^_^ but im gonna have to shoot down your suggestions. WAIT , let me tell you why.
hm, what i meant by numb was kinda like, shock, you know. like, im sure you've felt that. and you cant even think straight. but i'll definitely use your advice of telling the way she thinks about it later on.

SEX CAN STAIN IF IT WANTS TO! XP. jk, saturated is an awesome word. im gonna change it now.

and last, she doesnt want him to be innocent at all. she wants to avoid it, mostly. hmm, she's not jealous. but deep down, heartbroken alright.

dont worry, there's still more insanity to come. :D

thank you.

oh yeah, i forgot something. you know how you said about the kiss on her forehead and stuff like that? well, i kinda left things like that pretty vague because i dont find little things like that important enough. she's telling us what happened. do you everything you felt for one particular day, every conversation you've ever had? no, the reader just kinda assumes things like that.
i want keep it simple, unless i really feel that its necessary to the story.

key!! pay attention to little clues along the way :)
eikoguyeikoguy on August 23rd, 2007 04:32 am (UTC)
1st been there done that

2nd metaphorially it still doesnt add up. You're talking ABout a building being blown up not demolished from the floor up.

3rd you don't just jump to numb. You go from emotion to emotion but not out loud. When something like that happens you are shocked and you go through many emotions. But you don't know them you just fell them. Your body feels like it's not your own. You feel like shit like it's all your fault. anger from not seeing the signs. Denial to dull the pain. But eventually you get claritan clear and feel all the emotion sthat have been controlling your body since chock set in. It's noot that you're numb its more like you're focused, focused on the easist emotion to feel.

God this is hard to explain.

YOu feel all the emotions like a dull throb. You know its their but the only time you can really feel it is when you admit it exists and focus on it.

It's okay to be vague but as of now I know only feelings and places. She ignores the time at IHOP when Gee [guh guh guhee]and mikey are together. Which IMO is when she would be watching really hard.
frankfurter: cool frankohvick on August 23rd, 2007 04:43 am (UTC)
you got a point.
i dont wanna type it.
call me? :D
frankfurter: mike's too coolohvick on August 23rd, 2007 04:16 am (UTC)
actually i take that back. i kinda liked "stained".
made it plastic.
and it doesnt come off as pretentious.
and im too lazy to edit.
diebyownhandsdiebyownhands on August 23rd, 2007 02:55 pm (UTC)
I liked this chp. I read the other comments sort ofskimmed through it and didn 't really agree much with them. You made your point I understood what she felt.

Everyone has their own style when writting and yours is working fine.

She was numb she went through anger whenshe thought it was another women but the realization that not only was it a man but his brother I think pushed her straight into shock and then a bout of denial a "even if nheard it maybe it wasn't."

I'm looking forward to more of this.
frankfurter: pretty geeohvick on August 23rd, 2007 04:32 pm (UTC)
wow, really, thank you
i needed that. to know that that fucking(plzexcusethelanguage) JERK was wrong. and that he doesnt know everything, even if he think he does!!

i really hope you continue to enjoy, my precious reviewer.
(and i really hope that didnt come off as sounding creepy.)
idizzen on August 24th, 2007 04:59 am (UTC)
you made my day a hellota better again. now i'm going to pass my math test:D
frankfurter: cute frankohvick on August 24th, 2007 05:04 am (UTC)
woohoo~ :D
starts chanting "MA-ATH, MA-TH,...

okay weird.
im giggly.
idizzen on August 25th, 2007 05:11 am (UTC)
you seem nice:)

do you mind if i add you as a friend?
frankfurterohvick on August 25th, 2007 06:36 am (UTC)
i would be flattered :D
idizzen on August 25th, 2007 07:14 am (UTC)
i added you back:)

you're my favorite author right now (:
girlpowers7 on August 24th, 2007 01:34 pm (UTC)
jenni's comment on your amazing story ::part 2::
that was so awesome. =]
i love your story. its the only one i've felt like keeping track of to read.
cool, no?

what would be really cool is if frank and i were stuck in your closet. together.
like, we could share! well you know... share...
(hahha. that was lamer.)

take your time. the longer you make me wait for an update the better a comment you get.
it's something to do with the word "suspense" =D
frankfurter: frankohvick on August 24th, 2007 05:41 pm (UTC)
Re: jenni's comment on your amazing story ::part 2::
WOW!! thats so cool :D
i love you so hard right now ^_^
and if you keep posting comments like that, i'll definitely see if i can arrange that...

OH and all this time i thought when people say update NOW, meant they wanted me to hurry up. ;)
thank yous so much !